[Undecided]

By: Katherine G. Wheiler

When everything that could have been yours, a family, friends, a love, a past; everything that you could ever want, is taken from you. Does that make you free? Or does that make you a prisoner of revenge?

Chapter One

There was screaming in my head that never ended, the volume of it never softened. I waited and waited for it to end but it was imprinted in my mind. It was like a broken record that I could never fix, throw out, or unplug. I had to get the screaming out of my head. I thought about everything I was feeling. Mykels cold breath on my neck and his quivering hand holding mine. The cold threatening breeze telling us that night fall was coming. Night fall...tonight will mean that we've been hiding under the kitchen floor boards for a week. I could feel chills up and down my spine. I wanted to leave, I wanted to run and hug mother and stuff my mouth with her wonderful cooking. I wanted to play with Mikel and the others. I was tired of eating whatever bug that scurried past us, I was tired of hiding. I could feel the claustrophobia kicking in. "Mykel can we please go?" I said with a weak, cracking whisper. Every night around the same time I would ask the same question. Every time after I asked it he would cradle my face in his hands, kiss me on the forehead and say to me 'Shhh, tonight you sleep. Dream about butterflies and rainbows. Dream about warmth and a stuffed belly.' and I would do as he asked. I stared into his eyes praying that tonight would be different. He cradled my face in his hands, gently kissed my forehead and whispered to me "stay here." I looked at his face with curiosity. 'That was unexpected' I thought to myself. I watched him as he crawled to the hidden trap door that led to the kitchen wanting to crawl after him and leave this wretched hiding place, but like always I did as he asked. He slowly opened the trap door and crawled out. I could barely hear his footsteps, he was always the quietest person I'd ever known. His footsteps could pass for a little mouse scurrying across the floor boards, I envied that about him. Unlike him I was louder than a elephant and slower than a tortoise.

As I waited memories slowly crept back into my mind. It was like I was there again at the store where it all started. I could smell the fresh bread coming out of the oven, the feel of the money in my hand, the excitement of being able to buy some bread, and Mykels arms around me. It was the day that we were "official" or as some people would say engaged. It was custom for eighteen year olds to get married at a young age here but what was different between us and the others was, we were actually in love. It started out as being the best day of my life, but it seems as though the Gods cannot stand seeing anyone being truly happy. I'd never seen so much blood, so much pain, so much sadness, so much...hate. I wish I could thank Gillick the baker for hiding us, I wish I could thank him for... giving his life for us. Tears broke free and I fought to think about happy things. I never wanted to think of that day again...never. "Where are you Mykel? Where are you?" I said under my breath and as though he had heard me the trap door flung open, he dropped down into a crouch, and held out his hand for me. I crawled over to him and we both climbed out of our hideout. The excitement started to drain as fear took over my body. I wasn't ready to see what had happened, my heart wasn't ready to see the conformation of that dreadful day. Mykel was one step ahead of me, he turned me to him, looked into my eyes and asked "Do you trust me?". "With my life" I said in reply.

He grabbed a clean kitchen dish towel, gently tied it around my head, and covered my eyes. We stood there for what left like five minutes, all the time I was wondering what he was doing. When all of the sudden I felt him try and successfully lift me off the ground. I felt his arms shake and I braced myself preparing to fall. "Mykel you and I both know that you are too weak to be carrying me. Put me down!" I said as I tried to push myself out of his arms, but his hold on me tightened. "Pretend its like our honeymoon night. Just relax, you said you trusted me" he teased. I closed my eyes, rested my head on his shoulder, and tried to relax. I felt the movement of his body and started to recognize when he would step over something. I couldn’t help but imagine who he was stepping over. "Are we almost there? Where are we even going?" I asked. "Almost there don’t worry. Just be patient with me hun" he said as he kissed my forehead. I could feel his arms starting to fail him. I tightened my grip and prepared to drop to the ground. He always surprised me because without fail he had more strength then I expected. As he walked I started to count his footsteps just to occupy my mind. 24..25..26..27..

--Thats just an idea of a book that I had and I'm not sure I like it. So far I like this one more than my other stories that I've started. I'm open to opinions and comments =] I'm considering have this take place in the Euxine- Colchic deciduous forests
Where: Çamilhemsin Valley, near Trabzon, Turkey
Size: 28,700 square miles (74,400 square kilometers) -- about the size of South Carolina